Motivation from the 8-15-06 post

Isaiah 6:8: "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me."

Few years ago, I was struggling and resisting the Holy Spirit in me. Mark had asked me if I could preach in his place sometime or teach bible class and I said I couldn't do it. I told him I am not "teaching material." This is parallel with Moses’ trying to give God his excuses so he wouldn't be the one to go to Egypt to free God's people. During this time, the Holy Spirit kept on nudging me to take the opportunity to teach but I continued to resist. Meanwhile, I was reading verses relating to baptism. Though I had always thought I was baptized for right reason and I believed in Jesus, but I felt like my life as Christian was at a standstill. I studied and prayed searching for answers. I decided to analyze how my life was after my conversion in 1987.

Result of my conversion 1987: I was baptized when I was 17. I remembered I asked a lot of biblical questions. But it seems that I did not truly understand the real meaning of commitment and my commitment to God. My grandfather was a great man. He was involved with World Bible School (WBS). He wrote to approximately 1000 African students studying the Scriptures every month. I had a great influence from my family and majority of my family are Christians. But a few years after my conversion, I slowly strayed from the walk with Jesus. I see that I was not committed to Jesus Christ for the right reason.

Then 3 years after Fairfax hired Mark, this was exciting for Robin and me. We needed a deaf leader we could look up to. Also since I am CODA (Child raised from Deaf family) many of biblical reading in past started to make sense and fit together like puzzle. I understood that I needed to repent. Even though I repented shortly after that, I continue to run into brick wall every now and then while reading the Scriptures.

For example: (KJV) Matthew 28:18-20: "And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen."

The Holy Spirit has been working in me. Holy Sprit led me to the Scriptures that truly changed my life (a major transformation):

1 Peter 3:21: "The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ: Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him."

After my total renewal, I felt totally different. My conscience was clear. Right after this, Mark asked me to preach I had no resistance. Then shortly after, I was called to teach bible class for teens at the Oklahoma Christian camp.

Prayer:
"Lord, thank you for using me as your soldier to spread your word. As in Isaiah stating "Send Me", I'm jumping up and down saying "use me!". I pray with this Men Retreat you open eyes and heart of these wonderful Men of Faith. In Jesus' name, Amen!"